Tarot Tuesday With a Shot of Testosterone

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Hello dear Tarot-ists!

We’re sorry Tarot Tuesday is a bit late tonight. As would have it, the cards will be read when they’re ready to be read.

Tonight we have a special treat as we’ve injected a little (well 18 months worth) of testosterone into this spread we call the playshop. Please, enjoy this guest post from one of our favorite masculine humanicorns.

Enjoy,

Traci

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18 months of testosterone injections arranged and inspired by the death card in a tarot deck.

testosterone

The 13th card of the major arcana is the death card. It is a card of transformation and rebirth. Of clearing space and new beginnings. A card holding both masculine and feminine, death asks us to make good use of what is now past, to carry those stories with us.
death
The 12 empty bottles and the one still in use is 18 months of hormone replacement for a trans man. Gathering up the bottles is a sort of meditation. It’s a breath while standing at a precipice, overlooking a future of permanent male passing. What will he do with the experience and understanding from the past?  What will he carry with him from his past life into the next?

I often hear stories of families in transition – Parents, in particular talk about grieving the loss of their son or daughter in order to be able to accept their “newly” gendered child.  Anything that allows a parent to sit with their child in presence and love, including this sentiment, is something one can find gratitude in, but this has always challenged me.  Who we once were will always inform who we are to become.  Every moment of every day will die and pass, and each of these moments are threads woven into the fabric of who we are to be.

The death card is a reminder that energy cannot be created or destroyed, that we take with us what seems to be lost. All is not lost.  We build our future from the structure of the past. Your structure has been built. The death card clears away what is not to serve you in your current venture.  See the space.  Weave your tapestry.

Willfully weaving…

Tarot Tuesday: Life’s but a walking shadow…

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player

Who struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more.”

Macbeth

playshopbanner Good morning everyone! How was the past week for everyone? Do any Accountability and Boundaries spreads this past week? If you did let us know how they went!

This past week accountability and boundaries were both huge themes for me. In asking for guidance around these queries, I had been pulling a lot of tarot that reminded me to take faith in my core self but also to gently turn my awareness to the fact that change (even though discomforting at times) was needed for transformation. I could choose to dig my heels in or I could choose to sink in. The cards were dealt, but how I chose to play them was always my choice.

Phatasmagoric Tarot
Phatasmagoric Theater Tarot on Amazon

As this lesson was sinking, settling, and integrating, a new tarot deck traveled into my life by way of Colorado Springs, CO. It was discovered on a trip that rang true with the harsh lesson that our only agency is often in our reactions and responses. The Phatasmagoric Theater Tarot, which is a bit more predestined in conceptualization than my safe space of The Collective Tarot, was gifted to me at a time when the limits of my individual power under the directorship of life was becoming glaringly clear. I couldn’t control the set, the audience, or the other actors. When I felt like something was going wrong, a line was recited incorrectly, or someone walked the wrong way on the stage I had the choice to attempt to stall the entire production or go with the flow. I could stand mid stage and demand that everyone do it again until they got it (in my opinion) right, that they did it the way we agreed to do it in rehearsal! Alternately, I could be flexible and adjust to my fellow actors. I could be mindful of the scene that was playing out in the present and find the most authentic expression of my character in that singular moment. After all, whether or not it was going the way I wanted it to, the show must go on!

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I have to be honest, I wasn’t really ready for a new tarot deck. The Collective Tarot was such a good fit. I didn’t have to translate and it always offered an affirming and positive interpretation. The images were familiar and comforting and the narratives were more spot on than metaphorical. The Collective Tarot was filled with the language of consent so I didn’t have to be super accountable for the way I held my boundaries around how tarot was supposed to function in my life.

On the other hand, The Phatasmagoric Theater Tarot, is, perhaps purposefully, unfamiliar. The images are of the fantastical and somehow dark in their brightness and lightness. While cheery, they also feel to me a bit unsettling. They seem to play in the places near the edge of our consciousness and sanity. The places of dreams. The places where we have less control.

Sitting with the discomforting reflection of Graham Cameron’s art seemed to be just the lesson that my tarot pulls had been trying to teach me as of late. So I’ll turn to them now to see how I should understand this particular production of my current life process. What do I need to be aware of in my short hour of strutting and fretting?

IMG_0403“Mastering skills is only achieved through self-discipline and determination. William is a great abstract painter standing by his most recent canvas. Because of his talent and dedication, William has many admirers knocking on his door. 

Divinatory Meaning: The Eight of Coins represents the mastering of skills and becoming a specialist.

Reversed Meaning: Wasting talent, empty ambitions.”

The Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot

In brief candle light,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

 

Tarot Tuesday: Accountability + Boundaries

playshopbannerHappy Tuesday everyone!

I hope everyone had a lovely start to their August. The past month and a half has been a whirlwind of activity, re-structuring, and schedule changes for me. I finally came into a (partially body induced/mandated) slow down this weekend. It was unfamiliar and really lovely. I got to pull quite a bit of tarot.

Two things continued to come up: Accountability and Boundaries.

I got to thinking about the intersection of these two themes as I started to write Tarot Tuesday this morning. I thought about the ways that we are accountable for the time we put (or don’t put) to our healing, the type of healing we utilize, the way that we have to set boundaries for our self care versus the way we are accountable for our interactions with others, and the way that the guidance of tarot resides in between these two places.

Tarot can offer us guidance and direction for our awareness but, ultimately, it is our responsibility to integrate that information however we choose. Tarot might invite us to set some healthy boundaries, but only we will be able to truly discern what those boundaries will need to look like. With this in mind I decided to create a spread to help offer guidance on the common struggle of this intersection.

AccountBoundSpreadThis spread will be helpful if you feel like you need to set some boundaries in your life. Beyond some awareness around helpful boundaries it will support your consciousness around your place and accountability in the manifesting of these healthy structures. Card 1 and Card 2 signify the intersection while Card 3 and Card 4 support the question at hand in the stable structure of a triangle to offer specific guidance.

Here is the spread I pulled for myself:

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Card 1: Major Arcana 7, The Chariot or The Conductor (Inverted)

The Collective Tarot describes The Conductor… “The Conductor is victory, steadfastness, control, movement, strength, a plan, a direction, and riding the wave. This warrior is fierce , yet confident and relaxed.” Prior to the last re-paint of my room this reminder graced my wall and during a recent tromp through the House of Intuition in LA I flipped through the pages of The Secret Language of Birthdays and was unsurprised to see The Chariot staring back at me. In best forms, this individual is balanced, powerful, and confident in their abilities. Their power is something that is already familiar in my tarot reads and my life. The way that they showed up inverted in this spread, perhaps less than confident, less than trusting of these gifts, is also something familiar. What do I need to hold myself accountable for in the way that I set boundaries in my relationships is a conflict that is often hovering near the surface of my interactions. At the center of this intersection, perhaps The Conductor is reminding me that content is there if only I can find contentment in it?

Card 2: Major Arcana 9, The Hermit

The Hermit crosses my intersection as the central challenge. Why would The Hermit, “with the demented smile and candor of a master hold the message of challenge for me? She is both “map and compass to the human heart,” she trusts her intuition, and distinguishes loneliness from being comfortable being alone. I think that perhaps her lantern of illumination is drawing my attention to the ways that my people pleasing and friendliness can come off as extroverted gregariousness taking a heavy toll on my introverted spirit.

Card 3: Major Arcana 20, Judgment or Liberation (Inverted)

A card of transformation sits at the cornerstone of my accountability support in this spread. The center point of this transformation is taking off the mask, releasing expectation, and sinking into the truest self. It is a card that reminds us of the metaphorical truth that “the cards have been dealt,” and only we are accountable for how we decide to play them. While daunting, once this is accepted, we can find “A kind of letting go that is so vast and profound and honest that it reduces you down to your most basic raw child-like elemental self… A letting go that begins to dissolve the boundaries of our social and material constructs, so that we are no longer so separate and disconnected, but instead are more integrated and whole. Inverted, I wonder if it signifies the heartbreak that can only come from holding on too tightly to past versions of the self and how it keeps us from being accountable to our present/future integration.

Card 4 Major Arcana 15, The Devil or Oppression (Inverted)

The Devil or Oppression reminds us of difficult times where we feel drained by the way that we are confined and sometimes actively pushed down. It also requests that we stay wary that we are not oppressing others. My awareness of boundaries can often be draining, especially when I see them being impeded upon. With accountability close at hand, perhaps the Inverted Devil offers me a gentle reminder to shift my focus from others impeding on my boundaries to how I hold my own.

Overall, I really enjoyed building this spread with a theme in mind and feel like this is one I may come back to for insight into this intersection as well as the holding triangular structure supporting a central issue and challenge. While you can pull tarot in any way that feels right to you, you may also want to play with the extra information that comes with spreads or even create your own.

Happy Tuesday!

In accountability,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

 

 

Tarot Tuesdays: The Map and Compass to the Human Heart

PlayshopBannerThere are lots of beautiful spreads to assist in exploring through tarot. One of the simple ways I like to pull is to hold a general topic in mind that I need some guidance on while shuffling. I’ll then cut the deck with my non-dominant hand and flip the card. I’ll lay it down in front of me in the direction that it was flipped. If we’re doing a group pull, everyone shuffles and everybody draws. If someone feels like they need a little more insight, direction, or are confused about their card they can have a conversation with the deck as they pull sequential cards. After everyone finishes pulling we flip the remaining stack of the deck over and read this card as “The Heart of the Matter.”

We trust the deck- not just the cards that are plucked intentionally out of the stack, but also the cards that hover beneath and support our present pull. This always adds another layer of insight and depth to the initial guidance of the cards that showed up as the deck was cut.

IMG_0113My partner and I recently did an anniversary pull in a physical space that holds particular charge for the journey of our relationship. After we each pulled we flipped the deck to the find the “Heart of the Matter.” We were unsurprised to see The Hermit’s maniacally knowing grin in a time when we could use a slow down but don’t really have time to stop. “Her way is to simply sink deep while on the move. She reminds us to take, but not waste our time, and challenges us to develop the discernment to tell the difference.” Having done some traveling together (both with The Hermit and each other) it was nice to have her courageous truth seeking reflection in front of us, “she is both map and compass to the human heart… prepar(ing) us for brave entry into a new phase of existence.”

We were especially amused, not just by her visit, but by the cards that poked out from the stack on the way up to her. Near the bottom, from the uneven stack we saw the 0 of The Fool (a card my partner was drawing often early on in our relationship), lying close to the surface of the charged physical environment. The wise naivete from which we started our journey- as “hopeful” and “trusting” travelers. “The trip was unplanned, leaving lots of room for improvisation and spontaneity… the Fool trusts her heart first in all matters.” A little further up the familiar letters of the Lovers peaked out, again reminding us of the rewards that await if you choose to “follow your heart,” and inviting the “risk of opening your heart to these loved ones, despite any insecurity or anxiety.” Lastly, the Five of Bottles, closest to the surface. On the still, content, and healing anniversary day of our pull it was the Six of Bottles, that actually showed up directly when we cut the deck, moving us from “short-term crisis mode, to a long-term struggle and endeavor for positive change… a time of rebirth, renewal, restructuring and recommitment.” However, the Five of Bottles remained close by, a reminder of the knowledge and wisdom gained from the challenging and more disheartened times we had overcome together.

Intentional spreads offer different ways to organize and understand the cards we pull beyond their individual meanings, but the magic of tarot is that it’s all already there… and what needs to draw our attention will if we’re open to seeing it! While our pull was in the moment, it was about our relationship journey. The discarded stack held many of our powerful milestones even as the cards that were pulled offered guidance in the moment.

Learning new spreads can be great fun but tarot is all about looking at things in a new way! We get stuck when we can’t step back and get a little perspective– find a new viewpoint! So play with spreads that resonate with you! If you encounter a card or a pull that you’d like a little more insight on try flipping your deck and checking out the “Heart of the Matter.” Let The Hermit illuminate truth for you with the light from her lantern… “she encourages us to create within our own selves a container that can literally hold a new vision.”

{Image Credit: From a fellow truth seeking traveler Carrot Quinn http://carrotquinn.com/about/}
{Image Credit: From a fellow truth seeking traveler Carrot Quinn http://carrotquinn.com/about/}

Your fellow travelers,

Traci + The Hermit

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

Tarot Tuesday: Growth in The Tower

PlayshopBannerWhen I found tarot, in a functional sense, I met it with wide eyed optimism. I’ve heard some folks new to tarot express some fearfulness around accessing this source of wisdom and healing, and I never really experienced much of that. Looking back I wonder why I didn’t. {Image Credit: http://bit.ly/1Iq974y}{Image Credit: http://bit.ly/1Iq974y}

I was going through a period of immense change- to many around me I imagine it might have looked a bit like disaster rather than Disaster.

For someone who didn’t have much experience with the positive aspects of faith I realize the blindness and readiness with which I moved into a tarot practice was actually quite uncharacteristic of me. Perhaps it was the time, a particularly good fit, or just the relief of having accurate queer reflection from The Collective Tarot (my first deck and the one I still use almost exclusively) staring back at me.

Whatever the reason both my universe and my tarot pulls requested (kindly and lovingly) that I lean into Disaster or, more traditionally, The Tower. {Image Credit: http://bit.ly/1JoQkVK}

The Tower is the 16th card in the Major Arcana. It is a card about inevitable change and the way we experience it. This might be actual change around us or a shattering of our perceptions– ways we’ve come to know, understand, and explain our world. The literal representation of a tower that shows up in decks is described by Jan Woudhuysen in Tarot Therapy: A New Approach to Self-Exploration:

All of us feel the need for protection from the cold inhospitality of the world. We build defences of some sort or another. We build a tower, strong enough to withstand rain and storms from the enemy with his arrows and gunpowder. We gain security, but only for a price. That price is our ability to move, to grow, to develop. p.81

Later, in the same passage about The Tower, Woudhuysen questions whether, after forced by “disaster” to rebuild our towers if we’ll use the same broken stones? It immediately made me think of the Audre Lorde quote: “For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” I often think of The Tower as a space for new growth but also a call to check in on the soundness of the structures I’m building and/or confined within. Sometimes utter demolition is needed and sometimes it’s a wake-up call to realize I live in earthquake country– roller bearings, got it. 

There are so many levels of what we might be called (or demanded) to deconstruct and reconstruct, and it’s going to take all of our attention to do so well. If we’re busy struggling, trying to keep our tower from falling, are we going to be able dream and manifest a more accurate version of our safest spaces? It’s going to take radical vision and innovation to live in and design institutions that hold and heal the queerest most divine versions of our authentic selves.

So, I offer you The Collective Tarot’s challenge to lean into Disaster:

“You are free. A flash of enlightenment. A release of energy. Lightning of revelation, inner truth… If the mind becomes closed, so that we cannot see the world outside, then it becomes a prison of pride and illusion…. When you turn the compost, it is uncomfortable, but growth and newness awaits.”

In honor of Disaster,

Traci

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Traci {She|Her|Hers|They|Them|Theirs} is a yoga teacher, therapist and amateur tarot enthusiast! They try to believe in the power of their inner Magician, stay inspired by the Fool’s spirit, understand struggle through the lens of The Tower/Disaster and always stay reminded that, “The Star Awaits…”

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There are photographs in this post that were borrowed lovingly from the internet and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the photographers and websites who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the subject’s or artist’s identity or beliefs. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email compassionaterevolt@gmail.com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.